Dear boyfriend of Sophia Bush,
I do not know your name. I do not care to know it. I won’t bother learning it. Besides, what is a name to a monster? And I am just that – a green-eyed monster, whenever I see you proudly hanging your arm around my celebrity crush.
I’m not even jealous of your good looks, or your self proclaimed super-intelligence, or your spiffy career. I’m just jealous of the company you keep. The company you smugly throw your arm around, as if to say “yeah, good luck guy, have you even met the paparazzi?”
And I would say, “well, no, I haven’t. But that – that is irrelevant… I think.
So, I wouldn’t say much of worth, but I’m like that under pressure. And I’m sure you wouldn’t shut up. Or maybe you would. I don’t know. I don’t know your character. I don’t know what you’re like. I don’t care to know.
Either way, I don’t think you would lose that smug grin.
But, I can’t blame you, really. I’d be grinning too if I had someone so gorgeous draped across my arm. So, I guess, in the end, um… well played, nameless Sir.
Photo credit: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN
Taken from http://www.aceshowbiz.com
*I made all that up. Except for my celebrity crush. That’s true. Totally love Sophia Bush. But I’ve never heard this guy claim super-intelligence or any of the rest of it. And I don’t think he has a smug grin. Oh, and his name is Dan Fredinburg. I’m sure he’s a marvelous chap. I just didn’t have any fun ideas for a jealousy letter. Blame the Daily Prompt.