Clothes Altercations?

I passed a shop I thought said ‘Clothes Altercations’. It was just ‘alterations’.

Obviously my mind messed up the information my eyes sent it. Perhaps it did it on purpose. “That makes too much sense, I’m going to spruce this up,” my mind would say. Or maybe I just need my eyes checked.

Either way, I pictured a very different store. My store contained Black Belt Fedora roughing up Woolen Mittens for money. In the corner, Steel Capped Boots was kicking the ass of Jeggings. And Scarf was strangling Turtleneck Sweater as if it needed the help.

But that store doesn’t really exist. In the real store, clothes are simply changed. I suppose it’s where clothes go to sell out. I want to send one of my store’s items in there just to say, “You’ve changed, man.”

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9 thoughts on “Clothes Altercations?

  1. haha, thats exactly what went through my head when I read you’re tittle. Maybe one day instead of customers fighting for that special piece of clothes, clothes will fight that special customer haha.

  2. Okay, I’m glad I didn’t snort milk out my nose while reading. This was clever and humorous! Well done, EJ. Still, I’m wondering how the mannequins managed to avoid getting some action? 🙂

    • Im glad too! I wouldnt wish extra cleaning on anyone.
      Thanks, Eric! Very happy to hear you thought so. The mannequins are just lucky i get bored of my own jokes after a couple paragraphs and stop writing… or thinking. Haha

  3. Hahahaha!!! I enjoyed reading this! Just for shiggles, I read “Close Altercations” in the title at first. Probably not worth mentioning (never stopped me before 🙂 but somehow even so, I had still difficulty picturing an actual altercation… until I kept reading. Great article. Thank you for sharing!

    • Thanks so much, Meka! Love that you enjoyed it and got a laugh. I think everything is worth mentioning, haha, and I guess your brain was just trying to make sense of my ridiculousness. A valiant effort, but that would have made my post even less sensical! Thanks for the nice comment! 🙂
      Haha, ‘shiggles’ made me laugh. I like that.

  4. If clothes were actually getting into altercations that would completely explain my messy closets and drawers. No matter how many times I straighten them, they always seem to rearrange themselves in the least organized way possible. If only that fedora would leave those poor mittens alone.

    • Haha, maybe that’s it! “It wasn’t me, my socks just went on strike and my jackets started a riot!” Someone may buy it…
      Those poor mittens. So helpless. Someone give them a hand. (Hehe)

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