Yes, It Is I…

Yes, I do still exist. Yes, I am considering making a comeback here. Yes, I do realise I have a history of returning to this blog only to vanish again in due time.

But, to be fair… I had shit to do.

I went to Europe, I went to Bluesfest, I went to America and Canada. I mean, just last month, I even had the pleasure of visiting Amber from Words Become Superfluous. Amb has become lazy busy, just like me, but her blog was extremely popular and wonderful and we actually met through the blogosphere! And then we got to meet! In Canada! And I’m from Melbourne!

Good work, internet.

Anyway, my point is mostly, that I have made some great friends here, and it would be a shame to vanish for good. So, here I am, if even sporadically.

I’ll be back in a few minutes with the song of the day. I have to think of a good one. I missed you guys! Looking forward to catching up on your blogs.

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Moving Off The Grid

I mentioned earlier, we have to move house.

I am currently renting with a friend. It’s been awesome living together. We’re the best of mates. It is the end of an era. An era that has spanned some five years.

But, they’re selling the house we’re in.

Now, he’s moving in with his girlfriend.

Gah, bloody girlfriends! Who needs them? What a nuisance.

So, I am heading out into the big, wide World alone. Uh-oh! It’s scary. It really is.

I found an option. What do you guys think? Reckon I could get internet access out there?

My Weekend Schedule

Oh my, I have a busy weekend ahead.

Friday night will consist of reffing some junior indoor soccer. I love that. They are great kids. Last week they all told me I was the best ref ever. So, naturally, that makes them my best friends.

After the reffing gig, I am heading off to a Christmas party run by a friend. Well, a friend and her housemates. I think it’s a big one. I’m just tagging along. I like Christmas; I like friends; I like festivities; why not party for the sake of them all?

Saturday I am spending for lunch at my dad’s house. My brother and his girlfriend are going too, so that’s good. She hasn’t met our dad yet, so I’m helping with moral support. I don’t see dad an awful lot. There’s mixed feelings there. I’m in a good mood tonight though, so I won’t share them.

Sunday is a ‘Welcome Home’ party for a friend who has been studying in the USA for the last couple years. He’s returned! It will be great to catch up and party in his honour.

So, yeah, a reasonably busy weekend awaits. And all the while, I have to apply for gigs and find a new house. We’re getting turfed out of ours, because they’re selling the joint. As if the Christmas holidays weren’t hectic enough already!!

Self-Indulgence Is Underrated

Well that was the most self-indulgent meal I’ve ever cooked for myself. I think.

I do go through waves of really valuing and hence acting on feelings of indulgence. I am feeling particularly self-indulgent tonight.

I sit here now with what I just prepared: Steak with avocado, garlic prawns, and a side of pasta salad with a glass of wine. And it didn’t take as long as I thought it would.

Maybe I did it wrong.

Tastes like I did it right.

Nice work, surf and turf. It’s almost as much fun to say as it is to eat. “Surf and turf”.

How do you like to indulge?

Embrace it!

So, I just read some article about 20 things to do to truly embrace your 20’s.

I figured I’ve done a fair bit. Surely I have most of that list covered.

I’d done about 5. Well, that was depressing.

And they weren’t the fun five, either.

But then I found two more similar articles. I had about 15 in each of those covered. That cheered me up a little.

And then I found a list of the 8 biggest life mistakes you can make in your twenties. And I had made all of them.

But in the last year, I have also done the opposite to all of them. Perhaps even rectified all of the ones I made early.

So, perhaps I have finally begun to embrace, well… life. And my twenties, thankfully while I’m still in them. And it points to positive signs for the future.

I had a friend say the other day, “Wow, you have achieved so much already.”

Well, maybe, I guess, in list form of experiences. But not as far as my true desires are concerned. I still have much, MUCH to achieve.

But I think I’m headed there now.

Better late than never, right?

Be The Honey Badger

You may or may not have seen that video circulate some time ago. You know the one. The one with the honey badger. The honey badger is eating bees and cobras, not caring that it’s being stung a thousand times, or passing out from the immense venom consumed from eating a deadly snake. And the commentary is what made it viral.

“The honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit.”

And with all the conversations I’ve had lately about people hating their jobs, or not being sure if they should take a job that will tilt the work/life balance far into ‘work’, or even talking to myself about my lack of much work… I have realized the honey badger has it right. Just do what you want. Don’t care. Don’t give a shit. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. If you want to do it, then just do it.

Does the honey badger think twice before thrusting itself into a bee nest when it’s craving honey? Nope. It just does it. It’s not acting (or refraining from acting) out of fear. It wants honey, it gets honey.

Does the honey badger think twice before wrestling with a deadly cobra because it’s hungry ? Nope. It just does it. Again, fear is not a factor for decision here. It’s hungry, it takes on the snake.

And I think too often, we all act, or don’t act, out of fear.

I just spoke to someone who hates their new job from promotion. I said if you can’t make it work for you, ask to be returned to your old position, which you loved. They said they couldn’t. It would look bad. But their decision isn’t being based on want, or even need. It’s being based solely on fear. On ‘what ifs’. On possible negative repercussions.

Would the honey badger worry about the repercussions? Or would the honey badger do what it wanted?

Exactly. The honey badger does what it wants.

You should, too.

You deserve to do what you want. We all do.

If I Was A ’10’ On The Happiness Scale

Oh my, bloggers block is killing me.

Well, I think it’s complete brain block at the moment. I’m not getting much constructive thought going at all, in any mode.

I finally decided to just write here. Just let the fingers walk all over the keyboard and see what is produced. You may become completely and utterly bored. You may not. No promises either way. Obviously I’m hoping for the latter, though.

I’m banking on my brain returning once the study semester is over. And we’re so close! In fact, I may not even need the end of semester. Just the end of tomorrow may be enough. I have another assessment due tomorrow. These two major ones in the last week have consumed me. Rotted my brain I think.

So that’s what I’m waiting for. A clean slate of thinking. For my brain to be allowed to focus on something other than a major assessment. Or, perhaps on nothing at all. That may be even better.

My brain loves focusing on nothing. I could daydream an entire week away. I may have daydreamed half a lifetime away already.

Shit. That’s a worry.

That’s me though. I’m a dreamer. Every one of my friends knows what they’re getting there. Never rely on me for serious, ambitious type matters. Ambitious is probably the last word anyone would ever use to describe me. I feel dirty even using it here. It’s like a naughty word to me. I can say shit, fuck, all the rest of it… but, ‘ambition’… ?

Get the fuck out.

I will never have ambition. Not that I don’t have dreams and aspirations that I’m working towards. I mean I do put effort towards things. It’s just not what others tend to describe as ‘ambition’ or ‘drive’. But does that matter to me? Does that influence me or my actions?

Fuck no!

I am me. I am doing my thing. We are all meant only to do our thing. If we try doing someone else’s thing, or society’s thing, we will perhaps fail, and likely be terribly, terribly miserable.

And I’d much rather be gloriously happy, and fail at my own thing.

I got suckered into meeting others’ expectations early in life.

“You need good grades.” I got GREAT grades.

“You need a University degree.” I got TWO University Degrees.

“You need a stable career.” I became a teacher.

Did I ever chase my own dreams? Do my own thing? Create my own expectations?

No. No, I didn’t.

Sounds like I was a complete drongo, doesn’t it?

But I wasn’t. I just thought I was doing the ‘right’ thing.

Ha!

Well, I have learned that the ‘right’ thing is completely different for everybody. And we need to set our own expectations. Define our own ambitions.

Define what makes you happy. Chase that. Chase only that.

I always knew I had different dreams. I always knew I had to do things differently. Differently from what I had been doing all through my schooling years. And even beyond. But for some reason, it took me until this year to really get it.

I will always remember the exercise that lead me towards quitting my ‘career’ and living what it truly meant to be me.

The exercise was called ‘Me as a perfect 10’. The idea was to write a brief piece. Say a page or two. Whatever comes to you. You were to write that piece as yourself in the future. But yourself as the happiest person in the World.

What made you a perfect 10 on the happiness scale? Where were you? Who were you with? Were you alone? What were you doing? What was your profession? Describe absolutely everything in as much detail as possible.

Well, here’s my abridged version…

I was living by the beach, in a shack. I had a pet dog who I’d rescued from the pound. I worked from home as a writer.

Oh, and by shack, let me clarify with a passage straight from the piece…

“I say ‘shack’; well it’s modest, but it has absolutely everything you would need and it isn’t likely to fall down anytime soon. A roof is a roof. A home is what you put under that roof. This shack is in a way much like myself. Simple and modest, but full of heart and strangely charming.”

I can’t believe I called myself ‘charming’. Who’s got tickets on themselves? Wow. What an ass-clown.

But, you get the point.

Thanks for reading. I love you all!

More Change; Sports Edition

I was supposed to play one semi-final of futsal tonight and then take a break indefinitely.

I ended up playing three semi-finals. Won 2 of them. I wasn’t planning on playing the Grand Finals, but, it may happen. I don’t need to. I need a break moreso. I was just helping out.

I feel like the game is getting the better of me. I need something fresh. Something I can have more fun with. The problem with doing something because you’re good at it, is that when you have a bad run, it hurts a lot more. I don’t need to be good at anything. I just need fun.

A friend and I may be getting back into beach volleyball. If so, I’ll ditch the soccer. Focus on the volleyball. We played a couple years ago. We were pretty decent. Made it to the top league, won a few titles. He was very good. He’s small and quick. Covers the court well. I’m tall and cumbersome, but willing to dive about. Good reach and reflexes. Together we make a good team. I hope we do get it going. It was a lot of fun last time and I am sure it would be again.

I’m looking forward to it. As has been a theme this year… change is for the good.

The Music of Me – The Dreamer by ‘The Tallest Man on Earth’

Here is another installment of the music that makes me, me. Although it is my resonating with this song that really attracted me to it, rather than the other way around. I just feel myself in this song.

After falling in love with this song, I then went on to listen to everything else by The Tallest Man On Earth. It turns out I really like his music either way. I think he is amazing, and he has rapidly become one of my favourite artists.

So, here is the song of his that first enthralled me. Unfortunately there is no video, just the music. But the music is the best part anyway! Here is, ‘The Dreamer’ by The Tallest Man on Earth…

I Am No Vagabond… Yet

Money problems. The bane of my existence.

To me, financial problems really are the most annoying. Not in their nature, but simply in the fact that they exist. I suppose I could be (and have been) labeled as somewhat of a Hippie/Bohemian type, who prefers to place value elsewhere. But, as stubborn as I may be, I am not completely unrealistic. Only slightly…

Long-term financial well-being is not something I have ever granted much thought. Foolishly, perhaps, but nevertheless the fact remains. And it is catching up. Not that I will allow it to deter me from my current path or from obtaining my sought-after hopes and dreams. But still, it is annoying and present. It slows us down. Like a monkey on the back. A fat, greedy monkey. And the selfish little bastard won’t let go because he knows you have no choice but to continue carrying him.

Picture Credit: Van Jazmin

Anyways, it became apparent just how broke I am today. Not that I was not really aware, but, you know, there was a particular occurrence that helped humble me. (Seems to be a lot of those lately. Do I really need that much cutting down?)

I was searching for apartments. My flatmate and I are fleeing this place, and in the instance that we cannot afford to flee together, I must be well-read in my solo options.

Now, perhaps you have heard the popular joke; ‘you know you’re broke when you think of a lottery ticket as in investment.’

But, I was not Googling jokes. I was inquiring about apartments. And I realized, you really know you’re broke when you search apartments within your budget and car-park spaces for rent keep popping up.

But thankfully, I may not have to move into a car-park. We have possibly found a way to get by. And I know it’ll all be fine. After all, you know what they say about, um, bank accounts… it isn’t the size that matters, it’s how you use it!